Pondering about P.C Theophilus Goon

[Debbie]

I think one of the problems was he wanted to be a good copper though.

But he was too rigid with it. So he thought children shouldn't interfere, people should have respect for him because he was a copper and he couldn't see the times when it was right to bend the rules.

[Bertie]

I think one of the problems was he wanted to be a good copper though.

But he was too rigid with it. So he thought children shouldn't interfere, people should have respect for him because he was a copper and he couldn't see the times when it was right to bend the rules.

I'm not sure about those - unless you mean he was happy to bend the rules in unethical ways, in which case I'd say he wanted to be a successful policeman, not necessarily a good one.

The way he tried to frame Buster in Holly Lane, left Fatty in the cupboard in Missing Necklace, hounded a false confession out of Boysie, told Tupping and Luke's (step?) father to treat him cruelly, took pleasure in throwing the Smith's out without worrying about their age and health, etc... I think he cared a lot more about getting promotion and beating Fatty than he did about justice and the right person being caught - and wasn't too bothered how he went about achieving it (for all his 'bounden duty' claims!). Fatty might not have overly worried how he went about it either, but he certainly was bothered about justice being served and the right person being caught.

[pete9012S]

Yes, and as we know in Hidden House, he visited all the children's parents to try to forbid them taking part in any mysteries during their holidays.

The totally humorous and underhand policeman had great success with this until he tried it on with the Trottevilles!!:

“Fancy Larry and Daisy being forbidden too,” said Pip. “I wonder if Mr. Goon went to Fatty’s people
too?”
“Well, I shouldn’t think it would be any good forbidding Fatty to get mixed up in
anything,” said Bets.

Bets was right. It wasn’t any good. Fatty talked his mother and father over to his point of
view under the very nose of Mr. Goon.
“I’ve been very useful indeed to Inspector Jenks,” he told his parents. “You know I have.
And you know I’m going to be the finest detective in the world when I’m grown up. I’m sure
if you ring up the Inspector, Mother, he will tell you not to forbid me to do anything I want to.
He trusts me.”

Inspector Jenks was a great friend of the children’s. He was chief of the police in the next
town, head of the whole district. Mr. Goon was in great awe of him. The children had
certainly helped the Inspector many times in the way they had tackled various mysterious
happenings.

“You ring up the Inspector, Mother,” said Fatty, seeing that the policeman didn’t want Mrs.
Trotteville to do this at all. “I’m sure he’ll say Mr. Goon is wrong.”
“Don’t you bother the Inspector, Mrs. Trotteville; please,” said Mr. Goon. “He’s a busy
man. I wouldn’t have come to you if it hadn’t have been for this young nephew of mine—nice
fellow he is, simple and innocent—and I don’t want him led into all sorts of dangers, see?”

“Well, I’m sure Frederick will promise not to lead him into danger,” said Mrs. Trotteville.
“It’s the last thing he would want.”
Fatty said nothing. He was making no promises.

[Barnard]

If Goon wanted to be a ‘good cop’ perhaps he should have checked the handkerchief marked with a ‘z’ for fingerprints to see if Zoe Markham’s were on it.

[Debbie]

The way he tried to frame Buster in Holly Lane, left Fatty in the cupboard in Missing Necklace, hounded a false confession out of Boysie, told Tupping and Luke's (step?) father to treat him cruelly, took pleasure in throwing the Smith's out without worrying about their age and health, etc... I think he cared a lot more about getting promotion and beating Fatty than he did about justice and the right person being caught - and wasn't too bothered how he went about achieving it (for all his 'bounden duty' claims!). Fatty might not have overly worried how he went about it either, but he certainly was bothered about justice being served and the right person being caught.

Yes good point. He did bend the rules when it suited him. I suspect he justified it in his head as "necessary" which is how bullies often justify themselves.

I'm not sure about the going to the parents to stop them being involved in mysteries though. That could have been "The police solve mysteries. It is too dangerous for children to do so". After all two of the sets of parents agreed with him, so he obviously had some sort of reasoning they could agree with.

[pete9012S]

I noticed my thoughts on Goon back in 2014.
For some reason I saw the future possibility of him having children etc..

Goon did have his own little Peterswood fanbase. Although not exactly groupies, weren't there a couple of farms and cooks in some kitchens were he received a friendly cup of tea, home made baking and possibly even some light hearted flirtatious romantic banter?

Enid was far too discrete an author to focus on it in a children's book, but Mr Goon must surely have had a love life of some description...

He was quite a catch in some ways. Single, secure job, steady income, position of authority, good at wielding a poker and even possibly playing poker too for all we know??

I'm sure he may have eventually married had the series ran on. Possibly to a widow who wanted protecting from the ruffians and villains that the books mention that were creeping into the rougher, wilder parts of the town...

Children? Perhaps too late for little Goons to pop up, but saying that, many women have children well into their forties and the lucky widow he wedded and bedded may even have had her own children, giving Goon the chance to prove himself as a firm (but fair) law abiding Father, or Dad, or Daddy, or Pops, depending on which expression of parental address is allowed by mainstream scribblers....

[Debbie]

Judging by how good an uncle he was I wouldn't have reckoned he would be very good at all at being a step-father.
He might well have been firm, but I wouldn't have liked to bet on him being fair.

[GloomyGraham]

I'm sure that in one of the books there was a mention of Goon's house (which was not the Police Station house) - it struck me as odd as I don't think we'd ever heard of it before.

I wonder how Goon expected a promotion when he didn't ever move to another area to gain more experience - surely Peterswood would not suddenly gain a Sergeant Goon, then an Inspector Goon (etc etc) if the constable HAD deserved promoting over the years.

I think it would have been a nice way to end the series if both Goon and the FFOs solved a mystery and even worked together a little.

Perhaps two seperate mysteries somewhat intertwined - it looks like Goon is on another wild goose chase while the FFOs make progress. But amazingly he too catches a criminal or gang and - at the end - is congratulated by both Jenks and the FFOs.

[Yak]

The way he tried to frame Buster in Holly Lane, left Fatty in the cupboard in Missing Necklace, hounded a false confession out of Boysie, told Tupping and Luke's (step?) father to treat him cruelly, took pleasure in throwing the Smith's out without worrying about their age and health, etc... I think he cared a lot more about getting promotion and beating Fatty than he did about justice and the right person being caught - and wasn't too bothered how he went about achieving it (for all his 'bounden duty' claims!). Fatty might not have overly worried how he went about it either, but he certainly was bothered about justice being served and the right person being caught.

Yes this - Goon did far too many awful things (the most awful IMO was trying to get Buster shot, but there were plenty of others) for me to think that he was anything but mostly cruel. The only 'good' thing that he did was the time he climbed Christmas Hill and thought that there was a cow there - it was Fatty, obviously - and that he should rescue it. Other than that he was horrible and why Fatty tried to be nice to him later on when but for his (Fatty's) ingenuity Buster would have been dead I do not know. I can forgive a lot of things but someone trying to get my pet killed I simply could not.

[pete9012S]

Good thoughts GloomyGraham - that would have been most interesting.

Yes, Yak. I had forgotten all about that cow!

You are right - Goon could be an incredibly cruel man.



Fatty was indeed noble, as you say to be decent to Goon after what he tried to do to Buster.
Reminded me of the saying 'to err is human, to forgive is divine'.

Regards

Pete

[TheAngryPixie]

I always enjoyed Goon as a character. He wasn't AS incompetent as the Find Outers made out, and without the Find Outers interference, he'd have likely solved a number of the cases, just slower than the Find Outers did.

Spiteful Letters -- he only failed with the final clue because Fatty had spent the entire book giving him false clues. If this was when the kids were at school, he'd have likely put two and two together and figured it out.

Missing Necklace -- He was pretty much on the ball throughout.

And I can't rememeber which one it is, but there's one where Fatty hears Goon interviewing someone and is impressed that he asked all the right questions.

[Bertie]

I think the interview was in Holly Lane?

Yes, I did mention those two books earlier as being the only two that Goon was on the right lines on his own merits. As regards Missing Necklace though, as I pointed out, while he managed to find out about the passing of messages and managed to decode it - once he was in the Waxworks Hall, then without Fatty being there, Goon's sneeze would have given him away, not Fatty, and whatever the gang did to him once discovered he certainly would have been in no position to catch most of them hours later as he went on to do (while leaving Fatty in the cupboard instead!) So the Find-Outers involvement actually, indirectly, helped Goon in that case.

So it's only really Spiteful Letters that he'd have had a chance of solving. He was on the right lines, finding out about who usually travelled on the bus and Mrs Moon's past. But then, would he ever have worked out that her receiving a message of her own was clever misdirection? The evidence doesn't suggest so. And I don't think it's ever stated why Mrs Moon collected all the evidence together and hid it - most of which, individually, wouldn't have really stood out. But it is said that the Find-Outers had been talking loudly about the suspects (including Mrs Moon) while it turned out she'd been nearby in the garden and could have heard (she certainly found out about the hidden wig that was there in the summerhouse). So that might be the reason she decided to throw the evidence away - if so, had it not been for the Find-Outers involvement, then the clues might not have been there, all together, for Goon to find in the first place?

[pete9012S]

Just thinking, is there any example in any of the books or short stories of Goon performing an act of kindness towards anyone, human or animal?

[Bertie]

Animal, yes. Namely, Cats. Which is one of his few positives in my eyes.

In Hidden House, when Fatty is making animal noises to scare 'Ern' (but it's actually PC Goon), Goon hears the noise of a cat and starts searching for it as he doesn't want to leave it there on the hill on a cold night.

Also, in Strange Bundle, he hears Mr Fellows cat and goes in to try to retrieve it while it's seemingly been abandoned.

I can't really think of any other kindness, to humans or animals. I guess you could say letting Ern live there when he needs somewhere else to stay for a while - but the way he treats him is anything but kind!

[Moonraker]

I always thought that PC Goon was an older man (at least 50 years old), but that is probably due to the fact that when I first read the books as a child I considered that everyone over the age of 30 was "ancient"!!!

Exactly how I felt, reading as a child. People were either young children, older children or grown-ups! I never considered the ages of any of Enid's adult characters.

Perhaps, like George Dixon, in Dixon of Dock Green, he might become a sergeant by the age of 75.

Good point! Funny thing is, there was never a sergeant mentioned, as I remember. Just a constable and a chief inspector/Superintendent. There was never any mention of the CID - who would have been responsible for solving the mysteries more than a village bobby.

I don't remember any family (in the sense of wife/own children) of Jenks ever being mentioned. But of course he could have been married and it wasn't mentioned because it wasn't important to the story.

Apart from the central characters, I don't recall many of the villains or other characters being married. There was the odd farmer's wife, but the likes of Barling, Lou and Dan, Block, Mr Rowland and so on had very little background to them.

Children? Perhaps too late for little Goons to pop up, but saying that, many women have children well into their forties and the lucky widow he wedded and bedded may even have had her own children, giving Goon the chance to prove himself as a firm (but fair) law abiding Father, or Dad, or Daddy, or Pops, depending on which expression of parental address is allowed by mainstream scribblers....

The thought of Goon in the act of fathering children is one image I don't need in my head.

This has been a most interesting thread, thanks to Pete for conceiving the idea. One thing is for certain, incompetent, cruel or whatever, Goon is an essential character in this series.