Pomes (Poems) Inspired By Ern Goon

[pete9012S]

Your pome inspired me Barnard - thank you!

[Barnard]

I think all these pomes are great.

[Bertie]

Fatty returned from Tippylooloo,
To the annoyance of you-know-who,
He spoke Jabberwocky,
Which Goon found cocky,
So off to South China old Theo flew.

[Courtenay]

Please, no, with Goon flying to South China — I'm going back to England on China Southern Airlines next week (via Guangzhou / Canton) and I would rather not run into "Old Theo" along the way!!

[Anita Bensoussane]

If you find yourself sitting next to Goon on the plane, you'll have to keep talking about how wonderful the Find-Outers are!

[Bertie]

There's a spiteful letter writer,
Loose in Peterswood.
And mark my words that blighter,
Isn't up to any good.

Messages sent galore,
All 'nonnimus' and mean,
About many a misdeed of yore,
Or Mrs Lamb's hygiene.

A nasty minded troubler,
Even Goon's received a note,
'You're a meddler and a muddler',
That mischief-maker wrote!

Filled with rage so unconfined,
How Goon glared and glowered,
'Ho! You'd send me this, and unsigned?
Well I'll get you, you coward!'

[Barnard]

Another great pome, Bertie.

[Barnard]

I wonder if the pome writers could write a rhyme about each of the Find-Outers books.
I’m going to try to come up with one for Burnt Cottage.

[pete9012S]

Great pome Bertie, and great idea Barnard!

[pete9012S]

Apologies in advance - this is a bit lame.
I let my tongue go "Abbledy, abbledy, abbledy" and this is what came out..

It was after a number of weeks,
They absolved young Horace peeks,

Because the fire that was lit,
Was not set by that git,

It was set by a man,
Whose name was not Stan,

For the answer read the book
please you geeks!

[Bertie]

Thanks Barnard and Pete.

That's a really good idea, Barnard, about writing 'pomes' of Find-Outers books in order. I did post a few limericks for some of the books at one stage, but it wasn't in order and I think I only did about three!

I'll try to work on a Burnt Cottage poem.

[Bertie]

I've had a go at a Burnt Cottage pome...

Who burnt the cottage of Mr Hicks?
The Find-Outers are soon on the case,
Fatty's not yet got most of his tricks,
But he's got fine footprints to trace.

Suspects? Well there's quite a few,
Mr Smellie, Horace Peeks and more.
And as for a clue, or is that 'glue'?
There's those footprints on the floor.

One by one each suspect's cleared,
And they're back to square one again.
Then, suddenly, a new one appeared,
Thanks to Fatty and his sharp brain.

At long last they've worked it out,
But how can they tell anyone?
Then a new friend, kind and stout,
Helps them get justice done.

[Bertie]

And a Limerick about Burnt Cottage (has anyone else thought up any yet besides Pete and I?)...

Mr Hicks cottage is all aflame,
But who is the culprit to blame?
The Find-Outers work out,
That without any doubt,
It was all for an insurance claim.

[Barnard]

Hick’s plan has hit a big hitch.
The tramp saw him crouched in the ditch.
And so he was caught.
His plot came to naught.
He said, “life is surely a bitch.”

[Barnard]

Goon thinks that Boysie is the thief,
who robbed the Little Theatre.
Perhaps Goon should think again
and the sooner the better.

Goon believes that Zoe helped him,
and again he should think twice.
Zoe can’t have been involved
because she is too ‘nice’.

Fatty, of course, found the real culprit,
and took him to the chief inspector,
who said to Goon, “you never will make,
a criminal detector.”