Lets take a microscopic look at the Bobby we all love to hate.
Would the books be the same without him???
Is Goon right? Are the children holding his promotion back? They all attended boarding school, except young Bets.Theophilus Goon, the village policeman, who is outwitted by the five children in every single story. Mr Goon would dearly love promotion, but considers the children to be hindering him rather than helping. To chase them away he often tells them to "Clear Orf" (clear off). Consequently, the children have given him the nickname "Clear-Orf". Whenever he is upset or frustrated, Mr Goon constantly yells, "Gah!" causing much amusement among the children.
Surely this would have left many weeks and months free for Goon to rise in the ranks of the police force?
What about Goon's work ethic? Was he fit for promotion? Could he have handled it if he was promoted?
What do the exchanges on the telephone and in person with his police colleagues reveal about their attitudes towards him generally as a policeman??
Mr Goon -affable, lovely, cuddly, approachable??
POINT ONE - PROMOTION:
An example of Goon's take on his 'enemies' preventing promotion and his police co workers attitudes towards him is found in 'The Vanished Prince'...
Yet another person was most interested in the disappearance of the young prince. That was Mr. Goon, of course. He also read it in his morning newspaper, and a few minutes later his telephone bell rang, and he had the news from headquarters. He thought rapidly.
“My word - I’ve met the Prince’s sister,”he thought. “If we get hold of her, we might get some news! I’d better get on to the Inspector straightaway.”
He corrected himself. “I should say the Chief Inspector! He’s had promotion again. I’ve never had any. Got enemies, I have, no doubt of that. Keeping a Good Man down, that’s what they are. Wait till I get them!”
He brooded for a few minutes on enemies that prevented promotion, and then rang up headquarters again and asked for the Chief Inspector.
“He’s busy,”said the voice at the other end. “What do you want him for, Goon?”
“Something to do with the Prince Bongawah Disappearance,”said Goon, pompously. “Very interesting.”
“Right. Hold on a minute,”said the voice. Then Goon heard the Chief Inspector’s voice, sharp, confident and a little annoyed.
“What is it, Goon? I’m busy.”
In Hidden House we get a rare snatch of honesty from Goon regarding his own take on his promotion prospects:
Mr. Goon replaced everything in Ern’s pockets, the notebook as well. Ern didn’t stir when he tiptoed out of the bedroom. Mr. Goon felt that he had done a good evening’s work. He wondered how much Fatty knew about this curious mystery. It was funny that the Inspector hadn’t sent him word of any possible goings-on in Peterswood.
Well, it would be a real pleasure to Mr. Goon to open the inspector’s eyes and show him that dirty work could go on under his very nose, in his own district - without people guessing anything. But he, Mr. Goon knew! He’d soon clear everything up - and perhaps this time he really would get promotion.
But even Mr. Goon couldn’t help feeling that this was rather doubtful!
Goon on a wild goose chase in Hidden House...
In Missing Necklace we get promotion mentioned five times - Goon is hell bent on getting it!!!
This here case is mine, and I'm already getting on with it, and what's more I’ll get Promotion over this as sure as my name is Theophilus Goon," said the policeman, marching up the steps to the police-station. "You clear-orf now!"
He gets a bit of grudging respect from The Find-Outers in this book too.."If you hadn't given me this here bit of paper, I'd have locked you up," said Mr. Goon. "Interfering with the Law. That's what you're always doing, you five
kids. Ho, yes, I know you think you've got a fine friend in Inspector Jenks, but one of these days you'll find he's fed up with you, see? And I'll get my promotion and be a Big Noise, and then just you look out!"
"Oh, I will look out," said Fatty earnestly. "Thanks for warning me, Mr. Goon. Er—what about that old fellow? Are you still going to keep him locked up?"
But, as usual, despite his best efforts, promotion remains ever elusive for the hapless Goon...I wouldn't put it past you to carry one of them hooters about, just to annoy me, like!”
"He's getting quite bright, isn't he?" said Larry, as they walked off. "I shouldn't be surprised if he does get promotion one of these days. He's really trying to use those brains of his a bit. We'd better not hoot any more when we pass him. He's quite likely to go and complain about us if we do—and ever since he went up to my house and asked for me the other day, Mother's been warning me not to get into trouble."
"Well, sir—he knows that the pearls were hidden in the Waxworks Hall," said Fatty, "and maybe knows too that they were on Queen Elizabeth's neck—so he's bound to go back for them, sir, when every one has gone, and the Hall is dark and empty. Oh, sir—could I come and hide in the Hall tonight when you do your spot of arresting!"
"No," said the Inspector. "I'm afraid not. I'll have three men posted there. See to that straight-away, please, Goon. Er—I'm sure we can congratulate the Find-Outers on solving our problems for us in such a praiseworthy way—don't you think so, Goon? "
Goon murmured something that sounded suspiciously like "Gah!"
"What did you say, Goon?" said the Inspector. "You were agreeing with me, I imagine?"
"Er—yessir, yessir," said Goon hurriedly, and turned a familiar purple.
Tally-Ho Cottage - yes, you've guessed correctly, Old Goon is still pent up and frustrated about his 'deserved' promotion...
Goon didn’t. When at last he got home, in a state of fury, fright and utter bewilderment, he sat down heavily in his armchair, and stared at nothing. He forgot that he had asked the daily woman to come in and cook his dinner for him that night, and when she knocked at his door, he almost leapt from his chair in fright. He gazed at the door, half afraid that another Mr. Larkin would appear round it.
‘Who - who is it?’he said, in husky tones.
The woman put her untidy head round the door, surprised at Goon’s unusual voice. ‘Only me, sir. About your dinner.’
‘Ah,’said Goon, in a more ordinary voice. ‘Yes. Yes, bring it in.’
The evening’s mishaps had not spoilt Goon’s appetite. He thought hard as he ate his stew, and gradually recovered from his fright. He jabbed at a bit of meat.
‘Two Larkins. Sure as I’m here, there were two. But what will the Chief say if I send in a report and say I saw two? “My dear Goon,”he’ll say, “you must have been seeing double. Hadn’t you better buy yourself some glasses?”’
Goon mimicked the Chief’s voice, and felt very pleased with his imitation. ‘Ho, Chief!’he said. ‘Ho! Glasses I need, do I? Let me tell you this - I don’t need glasses, and I don’t need advice from you - all I want is a spot of promotion, which is more than due to me…’
Mr Goon in Tally - Ho Cottage, still hungry for promotion...
Seething with rage in Tally-Ho - he was hot on sheep worrying though - if a cup of tea or framing Buster was involved!!!
