Jokes
-
IceMaiden
- Posts: 2300
- Joined: 07 Jan 2016, 18:49
- Favourite book/series: Too many to mention! All of them!
- Favourite character: George
- Location: North Wales
Re: Jokes
Two robbers hold up a liquor store. One of them picks up a bottle and asks, "is this whiskey?!". The other one replies "Well not as whiskey as wobbing a bank".
Society Member
I'm just an old fashioned girl with an old fashioned mind
Not sophisticated, I'm the sweet and simple kind
I want an old fashioned house, with an old fashioned fence
And A̶n̶ ̶o̶l̶d̶ ̶f̶a̶s̶h̶i̶o̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶m̶i̶l̶l̶i̶o̶n̶a̶i̶r̶e̶
I'm just an old fashioned girl with an old fashioned mind
Not sophisticated, I'm the sweet and simple kind
I want an old fashioned house, with an old fashioned fence
And A̶n̶ ̶o̶l̶d̶ ̶f̶a̶s̶h̶i̶o̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶m̶i̶l̶l̶i̶o̶n̶a̶i̶r̶e̶
-
Boatbuilder
- Posts: 8125
- Joined: 29 May 2018, 20:06
- Favourite book/series: Adventure, Famous 5, Secret Seven, Five Findouters
- Location: Carlton Colville, Suffolk.
- Contact:
Re: Jokes
"You can't change history as that won't change the future"
John's Pictures of Suffolk - https://suffolk-world.com/
Society Member
John's Pictures of Suffolk - https://suffolk-world.com/
Society Member
-
Boatbuilder
- Posts: 8125
- Joined: 29 May 2018, 20:06
- Favourite book/series: Adventure, Famous 5, Secret Seven, Five Findouters
- Location: Carlton Colville, Suffolk.
- Contact:
Re: Jokes
Q: What is a tin soldier that has lost an eye?
A: Tin Solder
A: Tin Solder
"You can't change history as that won't change the future"
John's Pictures of Suffolk - https://suffolk-world.com/
Society Member
John's Pictures of Suffolk - https://suffolk-world.com/
Society Member
-
Boatbuilder
- Posts: 8125
- Joined: 29 May 2018, 20:06
- Favourite book/series: Adventure, Famous 5, Secret Seven, Five Findouters
- Location: Carlton Colville, Suffolk.
- Contact:
Re: Jokes
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, whereas a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
A cat has claws at the end of its paws, whereas a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
"You can't change history as that won't change the future"
John's Pictures of Suffolk - https://suffolk-world.com/
Society Member
John's Pictures of Suffolk - https://suffolk-world.com/
Society Member
-
Lucky Star
- Posts: 11496
- Joined: 28 May 2006, 12:59
- Favourite book/series: The Valley of Adventure
- Favourite character: Mr Goon
- Location: Surrey, UK
Re: Jokes
Groan.
"What a lot of trouble one avoids if one refuses to have anything to do with the common herd. To have no job, to devote ones life to literature, is the most wonderful thing in the world. - Cicero
Society Member
Society Member
Re: Jokes
There's a sign in my local park that reads:
'Please do not cycle on the grass. You may injure a young child or elderly person.'
I'm annoyed about the cycling, but at least they've provided an alternative activity.
'Please do not cycle on the grass. You may injure a young child or elderly person.'
I'm annoyed about the cycling, but at least they've provided an alternative activity.
DSR
-
Anita Bensoussane
- Forum Administrator
- Posts: 26892
- Joined: 30 Jan 2005, 23:25
- Favourite book/series: Adventure series, Six Cousins books, Six Bad Boys
- Favourite character: Jack Trent, Fatty and Elizabeth Allen
- Location: UK
Re: Jokes
Good one, Dsr!
"Heyho for a starry night and a heathery bed!" - Jack, The Secret Island.
"There is no bond like the bond of having read and liked the same books."
- E. Nesbit, The Wonderful Garden.
Society Member
"There is no bond like the bond of having read and liked the same books."
- E. Nesbit, The Wonderful Garden.
Society Member
-
Bertie
- Posts: 3486
- Joined: 06 May 2022, 12:50
- Favourite book/series: Five Find-Outers, Famous Five.
- Favourite character: Fatty & Buster, George & Timmy.
- Location: England
Re: Jokes
I'm sure this would be the wonderful Tim Vine's contribution to the classical music thread... 
My favourite composer is Handel. That was before he teamed up with Hinge and Bracket to form The Doors...
I went to my local music store and asked 'what do have by The Doors?' He said, 'a bucket of sand and a fire blanket'.
My favourite composer is Handel. That was before he teamed up with Hinge and Bracket to form The Doors...
I went to my local music store and asked 'what do have by The Doors?' He said, 'a bucket of sand and a fire blanket'.
Society Member
-
Boatbuilder
- Posts: 8125
- Joined: 29 May 2018, 20:06
- Favourite book/series: Adventure, Famous 5, Secret Seven, Five Findouters
- Location: Carlton Colville, Suffolk.
- Contact:
Re: Jokes
Good ones, Bertie.
"You can't change history as that won't change the future"
John's Pictures of Suffolk - https://suffolk-world.com/
Society Member
John's Pictures of Suffolk - https://suffolk-world.com/
Society Member
-
Anita Bensoussane
- Forum Administrator
- Posts: 26892
- Joined: 30 Jan 2005, 23:25
- Favourite book/series: Adventure series, Six Cousins books, Six Bad Boys
- Favourite character: Jack Trent, Fatty and Elizabeth Allen
- Location: UK
Re: Jokes
"Heyho for a starry night and a heathery bed!" - Jack, The Secret Island.
"There is no bond like the bond of having read and liked the same books."
- E. Nesbit, The Wonderful Garden.
Society Member
"There is no bond like the bond of having read and liked the same books."
- E. Nesbit, The Wonderful Garden.
Society Member
-
Courtenay
- Posts: 19320
- Joined: 07 Feb 2014, 01:22
- Favourite book/series: The Adventure Series, Galliano's Circus
- Favourite character: Lotta
- Location: Both Aussie and British; living in Cheshire
Re: Jokes
Ohhh nooooo...
Actually, those just reminded me of another one (I may actually have got it from here originally, but that was a while ago if so):
The inaugural Devon and Cornwall Music Festival has been cancelled. They couldn't decide whether The Jam or Cream should go on first.
Actually, those just reminded me of another one (I may actually have got it from here originally, but that was a while ago if so):
The inaugural Devon and Cornwall Music Festival has been cancelled. They couldn't decide whether The Jam or Cream should go on first.
Society Member
It was a nuisance. An adventure was one thing - but an adventure without anything to eat was quite another thing. That wouldn't do at all. (The Valley of Adventure)
It was a nuisance. An adventure was one thing - but an adventure without anything to eat was quite another thing. That wouldn't do at all. (The Valley of Adventure)
-
Boatbuilder
- Posts: 8125
- Joined: 29 May 2018, 20:06
- Favourite book/series: Adventure, Famous 5, Secret Seven, Five Findouters
- Location: Carlton Colville, Suffolk.
- Contact:
Re: Jokes
To repeat what you said, Courtenay - Ohhh nooooo...
Incidentally, which way round did they go onto your scones, when you were down there recently?
Incidentally, which way round did they go onto your scones, when you were down there recently?
"You can't change history as that won't change the future"
John's Pictures of Suffolk - https://suffolk-world.com/
Society Member
John's Pictures of Suffolk - https://suffolk-world.com/
Society Member