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A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

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A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

Postby pete9012S » 09 Nov 2017, 11:58

Although my short story is now available on amazon I have made it available to read for free on the forum:

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https://imgur.com/a/BCYNB

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0778LNJTG/ ... y+Blundell

Thanks to Rob for suggesting amazon - but after attempting this very short story I don't think I will be giving up my day job!!

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A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell - AUDIO VERSION

https://clyp.it/g4kkagj3
Last edited by pete9012S on 14 Nov 2017, 17:14, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

Postby sixret » 09 Nov 2017, 12:10

Thank you so much, Pete. I have just read the short story.

The theme of the story is about a relationship between a son and an aging father.

You use a flashback technique and current narrative to move forward your story. It's a sweet short story, sort of a reminiscence.

There is a moral value hidden deep in this short story. Be kind to our parents as they are getting older as they have been kind to us since we were young.

You use the beach as a setting.

Well done! You have written a sweet poignant story succinctly. I love it, Pete. :D
KIFARAH & KARMA- What goes around comes around.


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Re: A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

Postby Courtenay » 09 Nov 2017, 12:19

That's lovely, Pete. A heartfelt little story of the bond between you and your father and your mutual love for "your beach" and all the memories it holds. Well done.
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Re: A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

Postby sixret » 09 Nov 2017, 12:32

I also notice that you have used symbolisms in your story. Some that are worth mentioning are:

The mast that has been standing tall after all these years: The hidden and unspoken love between a son and a father that have always been there in their hearts.

The low tide and high tide: In regards to the relationship between father and son.

The dredger: The inevitable advent of the future different from the past.

"Their beach": A comfortable quality and a reassurance that both son and father could relate to, rely on and depend on.

Absolutely love them! :D
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Re: A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

Postby Anita Bensoussane » 09 Nov 2017, 14:10

That really is a lovely piece of writing, Pete. Sensitively written - it touches the heart.
"Heyho for a starry night and a heathery bed!" - Jack, The Secret Island.

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Re: A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

Postby Rob Houghton » 09 Nov 2017, 15:51

It really is a beautiful and perceptive piece of writing, Pete. I can tell you understand people at a deep level, and you observe the things around you in a deeper way than most people - in other words you have 'the writer's eye'.

The poignancy of what can't ever be quite recaptured is a potent and powerful thing - something that often motivates my own stories. You've captured that feeling of loss, countered by the treasures we still posses, in a very easy, readable way. As we grow we gain so much but also lose so much - the dependent become the independent. That feeling of how we view our parents as we grow older - and how we still feel 'a little boy' even aged 50 is so true to life.

I would encourage you to write more, Pete - you have a great talent, which just needs honing - the more you write, the better it will become. I don't give compliments lightly either, lol! :-D
'Oh voice of Spring of Youth
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Sing on, sing on, and when the sun is gone
I'll warm me with your echoes
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(E. Blyton, Sunday Times, 1951)



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Re: A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

Postby Eddie Muir » 09 Nov 2017, 16:15

A delightful piece of writing, Pete. :D
'Go down to the side-shows by the river this afternoon. I'll meet you somewhere in disguise. Bet you won't know me!' wrote Fatty.

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Re: A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

Postby Moonraker » 09 Nov 2017, 16:18

We really have quite a talented group of writers amongst us now. I wonder, do you all buy/read/review each others' book?

Looking forward to reading yours later, Pete. I am re-reading Julie's at the moment. Of course, I can probably read Pete's whilst on the throne...
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Re: A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

Postby Rob Houghton » 09 Nov 2017, 18:39

Moonraker wrote:We really have quite a talented group of writers amongst us now. I wonder, do you all buy/read/review each others' book?


Well, I've read Pete's short story. I would buy a novel if he wrote one - as I don't have Kindle, and I've ordered Julies book from Amazon (hopefully it will arrive shortly as they are now in stock). :D

Moonraker wrote:Looking forward to reading yours later, Pete. I am re-reading Julie's at the moment. Of course, I can probably read Pete's whilst on the throne...


depends how slow/quick you read, Nigel. :lol:
'Oh voice of Spring of Youth
hearts mad delight,
Sing on, sing on, and when the sun is gone
I'll warm me with your echoes
through the night.'

(E. Blyton, Sunday Times, 1951)



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Re: A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

Postby Moonraker » 09 Nov 2017, 19:13

Rob Houghton wrote:
Moonraker wrote:Looking forward to reading yours later, Pete. I am re-reading Julie's at the moment. Of course, I can probably read Pete's whilst on the throne...

depends how slow/quick you read, Nigel. :lol:


I could probably read it whilst spending a penny, Rob... :P
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Re: A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

Postby Lucky Star » 09 Nov 2017, 19:27

A lovely and touching story Pete. Yes indeed what a lot of literary talent Enid Blyton unwittingly fostered among her fans.
"If Hugo's treasure you would see, look for a door where none should be".

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Re: A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

Postby John Pickup » 09 Nov 2017, 20:00

A beautiful, poignant piece of writing, Pete. Thank you for sharing your memories with us.
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Re: A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

Postby pete9012S » 09 Nov 2017, 22:38

Many,many thanks to everyone for your extremely kind comments and advice about my very short story attempt.

I now get a little glimpse of what goes into writing our weekly serials on the forum and indeed the much harder,sustained work required to produce a novel like Julie and Rob and others here have done.


Moonraker wrote: I can probably read Pete's whilst on the throne...


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The tender image of Nigel astride his throne reading my inane ramblings is one I will remember and treasure forever!
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Re: A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

Postby Moonraker » 14 Nov 2017, 11:57

There may well be a book in it for you, Pete! :D
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Re: A Trip To The Beach With My Dad - Davey Blundell

Postby Rob Houghton » 14 Nov 2017, 12:09

'Nigel and the Magic Throne' - I can see it now - sure to be a best seller. :lol:
'Oh voice of Spring of Youth
hearts mad delight,
Sing on, sing on, and when the sun is gone
I'll warm me with your echoes
through the night.'

(E. Blyton, Sunday Times, 1951)



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