Jokes

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Eddie Muir
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Re: Jokes

Post by Eddie Muir »

HP Sauce is a very British sauce named after the Houses of Parliament, Courtenay. HP is also an abbreviation for hire purchase (usually weekly or monthly payments). Hence the significance of Tommy Cooper’s joke.
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Re: Jokes

Post by Courtenay »

Oh, right. I know HP Sauce and what the name stands for (we have it in Australia too!), but didn't know the other meaning of "HP". Thanks, Eddie — I do get it now! :wink:
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Eddie Muir
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Re: Jokes

Post by Eddie Muir »

You’re welcome, Courtenay. I was afraid that my explanation had been poorly worded and so I’m glad you “get it now”.

I must say that Tommy Cooper’s performances need to be seen for his jokes to be fully appreciated. :D
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Re: Jokes

Post by Rob Houghton »

Eddie Muir wrote:You’re welcome, Courtenay. I was afraid that my explanation had been poorly worded and so I’m glad you “get it now”.
It was a very succinct explanation, Eddie. I was trying to figure out how to describe it myself, so I'm glad you beat me to it!

I think hire purchase is used much less as a phrase these days, but during Tommy Cooper's heyday it was very 'popular'. :-)
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Re: Jokes

Post by pete9012S »

One from Frasier:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaFNpQB4EPs" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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Re: Jokes

Post by Courtenay »

Jejune... mais bien sûr. 8) :wink:
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Re: Jokes

Post by Eddie Muir »

A few more of Tommy Cooper’s jokes:

D'you know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said "Parking Fine." So that was nice.

I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.

My dog was barking at everyone the other day. Still, what can you expect from a cross-breed.

How do you get out of prison? Rub your hands together until they're sore, then use the saw to chop through the bars...

I went to the doctors. He said 'What appears to be the problem?'. I said 'I keep having the same dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away'. He said 'How can I help?'. I said 'Break my arms!'

So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays".

But I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said "Do you get my drift?".

So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions".

So I rang up British Telecom, I said "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again".
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Re: Jokes

Post by KEVP »

Umm, Tommy Cooper died in 1984. There wasn't any Eurostar in 1984--it started services in 1994. The concept of a rail link between the UK and France didn't even exist in 1984. So the "Eurostar" joke can't possibly be from Tommy Cooper.
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Re: Jokes

Post by John Pickup »

I saw Tommy Cooper live at the old Fiesta club in Sheffield in 1976 or 77. He came through three five-bar gates about one foot high to the front of the stage and before he had said a word, we were cracked up with laughing. His facial expressions were brilliant and what a large man he was!
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Rob Houghton
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Re: Jokes

Post by Rob Houghton »

KEVP wrote:Umm, Tommy Cooper died in 1984. There wasn't any Eurostar in 1984--it started services in 1994. The concept of a rail link between the UK and France didn't even exist in 1984. So the "Eurostar" joke can't possibly be from Tommy Cooper.
I did wonder, but wasn't sure if the name was used for some other service prior to the channel tunnel. :-D
'Oh voice of Spring of Youth
hearts mad delight,
Sing on, sing on, and when the sun is gone
I'll warm me with your echoes
through the night.'

(E. Blyton, Sunday Times, 1951)



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Re: Jokes

Post by Courtenay »

I thought the Eurostar joke sounded out of place too, so I did some Googling and found a few possible attributions for it — it seems most likely to be by Tim Vine. (I also found the parking fine joke attributed to him.) But regardless of who actually came up with them first, those are all good ones — thanks, Eddie, for the multiple laughs (and groans). :D :wink:
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Re: Jokes

Post by Eddie Muir »

Thank you all for your comments about Tommy Cooper’s jokes. I can imagine how his entrance on the stage made you laugh, John. :lol:

I must admit the “Eurostar” joke is a bit of a puzzle. It certainly sounds like a Tommy Cooper type of joke and it is listed as one of Tommy’s jokes, but it seems as if a mistake has been made.
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Re: Jokes

Post by pete9012S »

Whatever the source, they were all very enjoyable jokes - thanks again Eddie.
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Re: Jokes

Post by Anita Bensoussane »

Yes, they're good jokes no matter who first told them. I particularly like the ones about the parking fine, the gym instructor and the nuisance caller. :lol:
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Re: Jokes

Post by Courtenay »

I liked them all too, particularly the ploughman's lunch, the suitcase and the pile of snow. :wink:
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